Breastfeeding: It’s Natural, But It’s Hard.
A practical guide for Calgary moms.
Breastfeeding is natural, but it is still a skill that you and your baby have to learn together. For some women, it clicks right away; for others, it takes a lot of practice and patience. Both experiences are normal.
I’ve supported women in hospitals and homes across Calgary, and the most common thing I hear is: "I wish someone had just told me the real stuff." Here is the practical information you need to feel prepared for those first few days.
Before Baby Arrives: The Backup Plan
Colostrum Expression
Around 36–37 weeks, you can start hand-expressing small amounts of colostrum (check with your midwife or OB first). I give all my clients a collection kit for this, but it is entirely optional. If the idea of doing this stresses you out, skip it.
Why it’s helpful:
Practice: It is a low-pressure way to learn how to express milk before the baby is actually here.
A Mini Stash: Having a few syringes of "liquid gold" in the freezer is great if the baby is extra sleepy at birth or if you just need a top-up while you are still learning to latch.
Oxytocin Boost: The nipple stimulation increases oxytocin, which is helpful for your body as you approach labour (though it won't force labour to start).
A note on supply: Do not stress if you don't collect much. Some women produce very little colostrum before birth, and others produce more. Neither is an indicator of what your milk supply will look like once the baby arrives. This is simply about building a small insurance policy and getting familiar with your body.
The First 24 Hours: What to Expect
The first day is about small volumes and high frequency. You are both learning the mechanics, and your body is responding to the baby's cues.
Stomach Size: A newborn’s stomach capacity on day one is roughly 5–7 ml (about the size of a large marble or a chickpea). They don't need ounces of milk; they only need a few teaspoons of colostrum over the entire first day.
Skin-to-Skin: Keeping the baby directly on your chest is the most effective way to help them instinctively root. It also regulates their temperature and blood sugar, which keeps them alert enough to feed.
Cluster Feeding: This usually starts in the second half of the first day. It is normal and expected. It is how the baby communicates with your body to signal that it’s time to increase your milk supply.
Signs the baby is feeding well:
Swallowing: While you won't hear big "gulps" yet, you might hear a very soft “ka” sound or see a slight pause in their chin movement. In the first 24 hours, swallowing is often felt more than heard, watch for the rhythmic movement of their throat.
Diaper Count: You are looking for at least one wet and one dirty diaper in the first 24 hours. The first stool (meconium) will be black and tarry,this is normal (I suggest. Colostrum actually acts as a natural laxative to help clear this out.
The "Formula" Pressure: If anyone tells you the baby is "starving" because they want to nurse constantly, remember that their stomach is tiny and they are programmed to cluster feed to build your supply. If the baby is meeting their diaper goals (1 wet/1 dirty) and staying skin-to-skin, they are exactly where they need to be. Output is a much more reliable metric than the clock.
How to Get a Good Latch
Think: Belly to belly, nose to nipple, chin to breast.
Line the baby up: Position the baby so their nose is level with your nipple. This forces them to tilt their head back slightly, which helps them open their mouth wider and swallow more easily.
Wait for the "Gape": Brush your nipple along their upper lip—not the middle of the mouth—to trigger the rooting reflex. Wait for a wide, "yawning" mouth.
Bring the baby to the breast: Support their upper back and neck, and bring them quickly onto the breast once the mouth is wide. Do not lean over or shove your breast into the baby's mouth.
Aim for an Asymmetrical Latch: You want the baby to take a deep mouthful of the areola, specifically more of the bottom half (near their chin). Their chin should be pressed firmly into the breast, while their nose is just lightly touching or slightly away.
The Sensation: What is Normal?
It is a common myth that breastfeeding "just hurts" at the start. While there may be a moment of intense sensation when the baby first latches (as the nipple is drawn in), that should settle into a rhythm within seconds.
A good latch feels like a steady, strong tugging or pulling sensation. You should feel the pull deep in the breast tissue, not just on the tip of the skin.
A bad latch feels like pinching, biting, or burning. If it feels like someone is rubbing sandpaper on you or slamming your finger in a door, something is wrong.
If It Hurts: The 10-Second Rule
Do not try to "tough it out" or wait for the baby to finish. A shallow latch that causes pain will eventually cause damage to your skin and lead to a poor milk supply because the baby isn't reaching the "plumbing" correctly.
Count to ten: If the sharp pain hasn't faded into a dull tugging sensation by then, stop.
Break the seal: Do not just pull the baby off, that causes more damage. Slide a clean finger into the corner of the baby’s mouth until you feel the suction "pop."
Reset: Take a breath, check your posture, and try again. Sometimes it takes three or four tries to get it right, especially in the first few days.
The "Lipstick" Check
When the baby comes off the breast, look at your nipple immediately.
Normal: It should look round, pink, and slightly elongated.
Shallow Latch: If the nipple looks flattened, creased, or slanted (like the tip of a brand-new tube of lipstick), the baby is pinching it. This is a clear sign you need to aim for a deeper mouthful of the bottom half of the areola on the next try.
Positions to Try
There is no "perfect" way to hold a baby, but there are specific positions that make the physics of breastfeeding easier depending on your body and your birth experience.
Cross-Cradle Hold: This is usually the go-to for the first week. By using the arm opposite the breast you are feeding from to support the baby, you have a free hand to "sandwich" your breast and guide the baby’s head. It gives you the most control over the latch.
Football Hold: You tuck the baby under your arm like a football. This is the best option for C-section recovery (it keeps the baby off your incision) and for women with large breasts or a small frame. It allows you to see the latch clearly without leaning over.
Laid-Back Breastfeeding (Biological Nurturing): You lean back at a semi-reclined angle (about 45 degrees) and let the baby lie tummy-down on your chest. Gravity does the work here, helping the baby’s jaw drop open for a deeper latch. This is often the most relaxing way to feed, especially at night.
Side-Lying: Both you and the baby lie on your sides facing each other. This is a lifesaver for nighttime feeds or if you have a painful perineum and sitting up is uncomfortable.
The Golden Rule of Positioning: If you are hunching over, tensing your shoulders, or feeling a twinge in your back, your baby will feel that tension too. If you are uncomfortable, move. Use pillows, change your angle, or swap sides. There is no "wrong" position if the baby can breathe and you aren't in pain.
Nipple Pain: Normal vs. Not Normal
There is a difference between the "newness" of breastfeeding and actual trauma. You need to know when to breathe through it and when to call for help.
Normal (and temporary):
The "Initial Latch" Zing: A brief 5–10 second sensation of tenderness when the baby first latches, which then fades into a steady tug.
General Sensitivity: Feeling a bit tender as your milk transitions from colostrum to mature milk (usually between days 2 and 5).
Not Normal (Action Required):
Visible Damage: Cracked, bleeding, or blistered nipples.
Sustained Pain: Sharp, burning, or "toe-curling" pain that lasts throughout the entire feed.
The Dread: If you find yourself curling your toes or tensing your whole body in fear of the baby latching, the latch is not right.
Note: If the latch looks perfect but the pain is still high, it’s often a sign of oral tension (like a tongue or lip tie). Don't ignore your gut, if it feels wrong, get an assessment.
Pain Relief Options
If you are sore, you don't have to just suffer. Here are the most effective ways to heal:
Colostrum/Breastmilk: It is naturally antibacterial and healing. After a feed, express a few drops, rub them into your nipples, and let them air dry.
Silverette Cups: These are small silver caps you wear inside your bra. Silver is naturally antimicrobial and keeps the nipple in a moist, healing environment without needing ointments.
Hydrogel Pads: These are cooling gel discs. For an extra relief, keep them in the fridge. They are a lifesaver for that "burning" sensation.
Cabbage Leaves: An old-school trick that actually works for engorgement and heat. Keep a green cabbage in the fridge, peel off a leaf, and tuck it into your bra.
Skip the Soap: Your nipples have "Montgomery glands" (the little bumps on the areola) that produce their own lubricating oils. Harsh soaps strip these away and cause cracking. Just use water.
Balms: Lanolin is the standard, but it can be sticky and thick. Many women prefer natural, breathable balms. (I make a custom balm for my clients, reach out if you’re looking for a cleaner alternative).
Milk Coming In + Engorgement
Between day 2 and 5, your mature milk begins to replace colostrum. You will likely feel your breasts become firm, heavy, warm, and perhaps a bit "throbby."
The most important thing to understand is this: Engorgement is not just about milk; it is a "plumbing" issue. Much of that heaviness is actually increased blood flow and lymphatic fluid (swelling) rushing to the area to get the factory started.
To manage the transition and avoid blocked ducts:
Warmth Before: Apply a warm compress for only 1–2 minutes right before feeding. This helps the milk start to flow (the let-down). Don't overdo the heat, as too much warmth can actually increase the swelling.
Softening the Landing: If your breasts are so firm that the baby can’t get a grip, hand express a tiny amount of milk first. This softens the areola so the baby can actually get a deep mouthful.
Cold After: Apply cold packs after a feed. This is the most important step for reducing the internal swelling and "calming down" the tissue.
The Cabbage Trick: This is where those cold cabbage leaves from the fridge really shine. They fit the shape of the breast and the enzymes in the cabbage naturally help with the inflammation.
Expert Insight: Reverse Pressure Softening
If you are so engorged that your nipple has "disappeared" into the swelling, try Reverse Pressure Softening. Use your fingertips to press firmly but gently around the base of the nipple, pushing the fluid back into the breast for about 60 seconds. This creates a temporary "soft spot" for the baby to latch onto.
Supply: How It Actually Works
Milk production isn't a mystery; it’s a factory that runs on a very simple rule: Supply and Demand. Your body needs to know the milk is being used so it knows to make more. Every time you nurse or remove milk, you are sending an order to the factory. If you skip feeds or "save" milk in your breasts, you are telling your body to slow down production.
Stop Timing, Start Watching. Instead of looking at the clock to see if it’s "time" to feed, watch your baby. A baby who is "telling" you they are hungry is much easier to latch than a baby who is screaming.
Early Hunger Cues:
Rooting: Turning their head from side to side looking for the breast.
Hands to Mouth: Sucking on fists or fingers.
The Wiggle: Becoming alert, squirming, or making "smacking" noises with their mouth.
Crying is a late hunger cue. If they are already crying, they’re is frustrated. It’s much harder to get a deep, calm latch once they’ve reached that point.
The "Are They Getting Enough?" Check
You cannot see how many ounces are going into the baby, but you can see exactly what is coming out. Diaper output is the only reliable way to track supply. By Day 5, you are looking for:
6–8 heavy wet diapers in 24 hours.
3–4 yellow, mustard-like stools per day.
If they are hitting these numbers, they are getting what they need. You don’t need to weigh your baby every day or measure your pumps to prove your body is working. Trust the diapers.
Expert Insight: The "Empty" Breast Myth
Your breasts are never truly "empty." They are constantly producing milk, even while the baby is nursing. In fact, babies often get the highest-fat milk (the "cream") at the end of a feed when the breast feels soft. A soft breast doesn't mean you’ve "run out"—it means your factory is in high gear and working efficiently.
Pumping: When and How to Start
You do not need to pump right away. In fact, pumping too early can sometimes create an oversupply that leads to more engorgement and discomfort.
The Timeline:
First 2 Weeks: Put the pump away. Focus entirely on nursing and skin-to-skin to establish your natural supply and rhythm with the baby. (note: if you are experiencing under supply or a lactation consultant/midwife suggests pumping earlier, then proceed with that)!
After 2–3 Weeks: Once breastfeeding feels stable, you can introduce pumping if you want a small freezer stash or want your partner to take over a feed.
Choosing Your Tool
Hospital-Grade Pumps (e.g., Medela Symphony)
Best for: Increasing low supply, exclusive pumping, or moving milk when the baby can’t latch.
Pros: Most efficient and powerful.
Calgary Access: You don’t need to buy these; they are available for rent at many local pharmacies, pump depots, and Baby & Me stores.
Hands-Free Wearable Pumps (e.g., Willow, Elvie)
Best for: Convenience once your supply is established.
The Reality Check: They are not as strong as plug-in pumps. They are great for mobility but are not ideal for building a supply from scratch. Use these once your milk production has settled.
Pumping Basics
Duration: Aim for 15–20 minutes per session.
The "Flow" Rule: Stop when the milk flow slows down to a crawl. Do not keep pumping "dry" in hopes of getting more; over-pumping can cause nipple inflammation and unnecessary swelling.
Flange Fit: This is the part that goes over your breast. If it’s too small or too large, it will hurt and you won't get much milk. If you see rubbing or redness on your areola, you likely have the wrong size.
Expert Insight: The Flange Size Myth
Most pumps come with a standard 24 mm flange, but research shows that a huge percentage of women actually need a smaller size (often 17 mm–21 mm). If pumping is painful or you feel like you aren't getting much out despite feeling full, don't assume your supply is low, check your flange size first.
Trouble-Shooting Guide
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Change the Angle: Try the football hold or laid-back breastfeeding. Sometimes a simple change in gravity is all it takes to get a deeper latch.
The "Lipstick" Check: If your nipple comes out flattened or slanted, the latch is shallow.
Professional Help: If pain persists, get an assessment from an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). They can check for things like oral ties or tension that you can't see on your own.
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The Strip Down: Take the baby out of the sleeper and feed them in just a diaper. Skin-to-skin contact helps keep them alert.
Active Feeding: If the baby stops sucking, try breast compressions (squeeze your breast firmly but gently like you're squeezing a sponge) to send a burst of milk into their mouth and "wake up" their swallowing reflex.
Tactile Cues: Tickle their feet, blow gently on their chest, or change their diaper halfway through the feed to keep them engaged.
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Track the Output: Ignore the clock and the pump volume. Track diapers. If the baby is meeting their daily wet/dirty goals, they are getting enough.
The Power of Skin-to-Skin: Spending an hour chest-to-chest increases your oxytocin, which triggers the let-down reflex and tells your body to keep the milk moving.
Frequent Removal: The best way to "order" more milk is to put the baby to the breast more often.
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Mental Health Matters: Breastfeeding doesn't have to be "all or nothing." Combo feeding is allowed. Whether that means using your expressed colostrum, a donor, or formula, your ability to show up for your baby matters more than how they are fed. If you are struggling, reach out, you don't have to figure this out alone.
Calgary Support
(use it early)
AHS Lactation Clinics
Book before you leave the hospital, or call Health Link (811)Private IBCLC home visits
Ideal if latch is painful, baby is losing weight, or you want hands-on helpDoula Support
I help with latch, positioning, pumping schedules and feeding troubleshooting
www.laurenhaledoula.ca
Final Thoughts
Breastfeeding takes a lot of patience, a ton of hydration, and a village of support. You aren't meant to figure this out alone, and you definitely shouldn't have to white-knuckle your way through it.
If you want a private prenatal prep session, where we actually practice positioning hands-on, walk through troubleshooting, and hold space for every single question you have, reach out anytime.
